


three men and a gayby

by vanishingbyler



Category: IT (2017)
Genre: Aro/Ace Mike, Autistic!Richie, Bill is hard of hearing because? i am and i want him to be, Dyslexic!Richie, F/M, M/M, Modern AU, Reddie, Stenbrough, Trans Character(s), Trans Stan, benverly - Freeform, group chat au, texting au, trans Bill, trans richie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-01-27 17:05:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12586596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanishingbyler/pseuds/vanishingbyler
Summary: bilbert:so who's coming to georgie's birthday partytrashmouth:DON'T KINKSHAME ME ALL I'M SAYING IS THAT BEING A FURRY CAN'T BE T H A T BADbilbert:richie isn't invited





	1. richie's homework bitchies™

**Author's Note:**

> trashmouth: richie  
> gazebabe: eddie  
> benjamina: ben  
> mother marlboro: bev  
> flowerpot man #1: bill  
> flower boi: mike  
> stanford pines: stan
> 
> this is the first fic i've ever written in this style so excuse it if it's awful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **flower boi:** sorry i'm late a chicken escaped  
> 

**the losers club™**

**16:36**

 

**trashmouth:** alright who's helping with my history essay tonight  
**gazebabe:** what kind of help?  
**trashmouth:** ms abel said she's not grading anything that she can't read the handwriting  
**trashmouth:** and spelling mistakes take the whole thing to a zero  
**benjamina:** ms abel more like ms ableism amirite  
**gazebabe:** BEN  
**gazebabe:** SKGFGFJSJAGAJ  
**benjamina:** what can i say, i have a way with words  
**mother marlboro:** that was poetry babe i'm proud  
**trashmouth:** my dyslexic ass is taking no chances i have straight a’s  
**gazebabe:** i have gay c’s im not much help  
**flowerpot man #1:** i’ll help i have a grudge against abel  
**flowerpot man #1:** she made me take my hearing aids out during a test bc she thought they were bluetooth headsets and i was gonna have stan feed me answers from his study hall  
**flowerpot man #1:** WAIT BEN WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR USERNAME WHY AM I THE ONLY FLOWERPOT MAN

 

**flowerpot man #1 changed their nickname to bilbert**

 

**bilbert:** smh flowerpots aren't the only thing in this garden  
**bilbert:** there's SNAKES too

 

**bilbert changed benjamina’s nickname to snake**

 

**flower boi:** sorry i'm late a chicken escaped  
**trashmouth:** shshsjskaj  
**flower boi:** ITS NOT FUNNY RICHARD  
**trashmouth:** it really is  
**bilbert:** kinda is  
**mother marlboro:** it's pretty funny  
**snake:** yeah it is  
**gazebabe:** mike i love you but it's really funny  
**flower boi:** i’m going to overlook this BLATANT BULLYING  
**flower boi:** only because i have a question  
**flower boi:** where’s stan  
**bilbert:** his grandparents are visiting from california they’re having dinner  
**bilbert:** we have to be extra nice to him later it’s the transphobic grandparents  
**trashmouth:** okay we’re cancelling the homework plans i have some geriatrics to fight  
**mother marlboro:** richie are we forgetting the time you lost in a fight against a plastic bag  
**mother marlboro:** you couldnt take out the urises  
**mother marlboro:** go and do your homework

 

**bilbert >>> trashmouth**

**16:52**

 

**bilbert:** if ur coming over come over  
**bilbert:** georgies at soccer until 6 so i don't have to risk ur potty mouth corrupting him  
**trashmouth:** georgie plays a sport ?????  
**trashmouth:** i'm withdrawing my adoption request  
**bilbert:** i wouldn't have let you have him anyway  
**bilbert:** get over here

 

**the losers club™**

**19:04**

 

**trashmouth:** let it be known here on this day that william andrew denbrough is the biggest asshole known to man  
**bilbert:** you're not giving my 7 year old brother lung cancer RICHARD  
**trashmouth:** YOUR DAD SMOKES  
**bilbert:** AND I SEND HIM OUTSIDE TO DO IT AS WELL  
**Stanford Pines:** I can confirm, we stopped cuddling the other day for him to usher Zack outside.  
**Stanford Pines:** While Georgie was in bed, asleep, and not breathing in the smoke.  
**Stanford Pines:** It was pretty cute.  
**bilbert:** always on my side babe xxx  
**trashmouth:** you both suck  
**bilbert:** watch your mouth, my handwriting is getting you an A


	2. hey now, you're a gaylord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **heterosexual:** i've never been more insulted

**the losers club™**

**06:13**

 

**Stanford Pines:** Meet us at the quarry in an hour? School is cancelled.  
**bilbert:** we’re there now but it’s Gay so don’t be early  
**gazebabe:** i don’t want to know what you’re getting up to but dispose of the evidence before we get there i’m running out of hand sanitiser  
**Stanford Pines:** Don’t be vulgar Edmund we’re holding hands and kissing and talking about our anniversary.  
**Stanford Pines:** You’ve been spending too much time with Richie.  
**bilbert:** yeah eddie get ur mind out of the gutter  
**gazebabe:** first of all, my name is edwin and u know it. second of all, don’t capitalize gay if it’s not a big deal, first rule of No Punctuation Random Capitalization™   
**mother marlboro:** whys school cancelled? i don't know if my aunts going to let me out  
**bilbert:** somebody broke a pipe in the marching band storage closet and now the ground floor is flooded  
**bilbert:** not saying it was richie using the pipes as monkey bars while i was putting my violin away  
**bilbert:** but it was probably richie using the pipes as monkey bars when i was putting my violin away  
**trashmouth:** i resent that  
**gazebabe:** but you don't dispute it  
**trashmouth:** fuck you eddison  
**gazebabe:** i know you want to but i'm not exposing myself to your crabs  
**trashmouth:** not my fault your mom gave them to me  
**gazebabe:** okay that's fucking gross and i don't want to hear it  
**bilbert:** SHUT THE FUCK UP  
**bilbert:** bev would it help if i came to collect you from the house and drop you home later?  
**mother marlboro:** probably, she trusts you  
**Stanford Pines:** So who's coming? This is the last chance to swim before winter kicks in.   
**Stanford Pines:** We have Bill and I, possibly Bev, and I'm guessing Richie?  
**trashmouth:** as if my parents will notice me gone  
**trashmouth:** eds? u comin baby?  
**gazebabe:** don't call me that  
**trashmouth:** sorry baby  
**gazebabe:** I SAID DONT CALL ME THAT  
**trashmouth:** my bad, eds  
**gazebabe:** i fucking hate you   
**flower boi:** ill be there  
**snake:** so will i  
**Stanford Pines:** So we're just waiting on Eddie?  
**gazebabe:** i've told my mom we're playing video games at stanleys  
**gazebabe:** if anyone exposes where we're actually going i'll kill myself and make you watch  
**gazebabe:** she's making me wear two sweaters and a scarf to walk three blocks to stanley’s   
**gazebabe:** it's 50 degrees  
**snake:** your moms a nutjob

 

**gazebabe changed snake’s nickname to truth speaker**

 

**bilbert:** still a snake  
**truth speaker:** you insult me because you wish you were me  
**bilbert:** what was that? suddenly idk how to read  
**trashmouth:** stop coming for my brand  
**gazebabe:** HDJSJDJSK RICHIE  
**trashmouth:** thanks for the compliment baby <3 can always count on you to big me up xo  
**gazebabe:** my HDJSJDJSK is strongly revoked

 

**the losers club™**

**09:03**

 

**trashmouth:** [heterosexualsayswhat.mov]  
**flower boi:** why are you sending us a video of something we all heard happen five minutes ago  
**trashmouth:** bill didn't hear it  
**bilbert:** [imcallingthepolice.jpg]

 

**trashmouth changed bilbert’s nickname to heterosexual**

 

**heterosexual:** i've never been more insulted  
**heterosexual:** why would you play idiot says what WITH A HEARING IMPAIRED KID

 

**Stanford Pines changed heterosexual’s nickname to hopefully not heterosexual**

 

**hopefully not heterosexual:** much better  
**Stanford Pines:** Imagine if you were straight  
**flower boi:** imagine if any of us were straight  
**truth speaker:** wow rude  
**flower boi:** i've seen the way you look at me. u want what you can't have benny boy xo  
**truth speaker:** i have a girlfriend michael  
**trashmouth:** micholas stop attacking the token het or we'll have a hate crime lawsuit on our hands before you can say breeder  
**truth speaker:** my cousin darren has a law degree y'all are going DOWN  
**trashmouth:** my cousin mike has depression  
**hopefully not heterosexual:** [mood.gif]  
**Stanford Pines:** Love yourself William.  
**hopefully not heterosexual:** if i don't will you do it for me?  
**trashmouth:** BEEP BEEP BILL  
**gazebabe:** yeah no rich that's not a thing  
**gazebabe:** stop trying to make fetch happen  
**mother marlboro:** guys you're all sat next to each other either SPEAK or get back in the fucking water  
**flower boi:** beverly  
**flower boi:** darling  
**flower boi:** isn't that a bit hypocritical  
**truth speaker:** DONT MAKE HER ANGRY SHE IS THE QUEEN OF FIRE AND SHE WILL BURN YOU TO THE GROUND  
**mother marlboro:** awwww baaaaaaabe that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me   
**mother marlboro:** now everyone get your asses back in the water

 

**the losers club™**

**13:42**

 

**trashmouth:** someBODY **  
flower boi:** ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME  
**truth speaker:** I AINT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHEEEEEEEEEDD  
**flower boi:** SHE WAS LOOKING KINDA DUMB WITH HER FINGER AND HER THUMB  
**truth speaker:** IN THE SHAPE OF AN L ON HER FOREHEAD  
**flower boi:** AND THE YEARS START COMING  
**truth speaker:** AND THEY DON’T STOP COMING  
**flower boi:** AND THEY DON’T STOP COMING  
**truth speaker:** AND THEY DON’T STOP COMING  
**flower boi:** AND THEY DON’T STOP COMING  
**truth speaker:** AND THEY DON’T STOP COMING

 

**mother marlboro removed truth speaker from the conversation.  
Stanford Pines removed flower boi from the conversation.**

 

**trashmouth:** oh thank fuck

 

**gazebabe removed trashmouth from the conversation.**

 

**Stanford Pines:** Oh, thank fuck.

 


	3. hallomeme

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Stanford Pines:** We don’t want him, Beverly. His purchase history on eBay includes an inflatable penis costume and a crate of 28 cans of whipped cream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long, i've been in new york and had no access to my laptop. i have this chapter and half of the next finished, so hopefully there wont be too long to wait for that.

**happy hallomeme™  
** **15:23**

  **hopefully not heterosexual:** right if you’re taking georgie trick or treating we’re meeting at my house at 4:30  
**mother marlboro:** you didnt add richie to this chat……………  
**Stanford Pines:** We don’t want him, Beverly. His purchase history on eBay includes an inflatable penis costume and a crate of 28 cans of whipped cream.  
**mother marlboro:** if anything that makes me want him more

**mother marlboro added trashmouth to the conversation.** ****  
**trashmouth changed mother marlboro’s nickname to queen.** **  
** **queen changed trashmouth’s nickname to hypeman.**

**truth speaker:** disgusten  
**hypeman:** wait this isn’t the main chat wtf  
**hypeman:** what is this for  
**hypeman:** how many chats have i been excluded from  
**hypeman:** how many times have i been SNAKED  
**Stanford Pines:** I want it on record that we didn’t want you now, Bev added you against our better judgement.  
**hypeman:** wounded  
**hopefully not heterosexual:** if you wear a dick costume to halloween with my little brother you’re dead  
**hypeman:** what the Cockstume™ Inflatable Penis Costume With Removable Foreskin Semen Sold Separately  ???  
**hypeman:** dude that’s not for halloween  
**gazebabe:** whats it ?? for ??  
**hypeman:** personal use  
**truth speaker:** … ew. what the fuck.  
**hypeman:** a man can have secrets dear benjamin  
**flower boi:** are we overcompensating again richie darling  
**hypeman:** um?? transphobia?? where's my trans squad at?? defend my dickless honour??  
**Stanford Pines:** I’ve been out as trans for 6 years and have never once tried to satisfy my dysphoria by spending $30 on a 5 foot penis costume.  
**hypeman:** it was $29.95 and worth every cent  
**hypeman:** back me up billy bob  
**hopefully not heterosexual:** i,,, can't. i literally can't. i was tryna think of a way of defending you but ? no.

**lions and tigers and queers, oh my!™  
** **15:46**

**hypeman:** fakes  
**hypeman:** everywhere  
**hypeman:** a CIS daRES remind me of my painful deficiency in the nether region and y'all have the AUDACITY to say that's okay??  
**hypeman:** what happened to the trans squad!! i thought the three of us stood UNITED!!! what happened to the boys that accompany each other to the bathrooms to hiss at cis men who try and kick us out!!! what happened to the boys that wrote our pronouns on our faces when the spanish teacher called us ladies!!! what happened to the boys that defend each other against derry’s deep rooted transphobia!!  
**Stanford Pines:** That wasn't transphobia, that was Richphobia, which I fully support.  
**Stanford Pines:** Also, you needed question marks rather than exclamation points there.  
**hypeman:** EMPHASIS  
**Stanford Pines:** INTERROBANG.  
**hypeman:** WHAT

**Stanford Pines changed hypeman’s nickname to Illiterate.  
** **Illiterate changed their nickname to illiterate.  
** **illiterate changed Stanford Pines’s nickname to asshole.  
** **asshole changed their nickname to Asshole.**

**hopefully not heterosexual:** hwat on earth  
**illiterate:** SEE STANLEY HE CANT SPELL EITHER  
**Asshole:** It's cute when he does it <3

**happy hallomeme™  
** **15:52**

**flower boi:** COSTUME UPDATE PLEASE are we all on theme still??  
**truth speaker:** im hulk and stanley is banner  
**flower boi:** im still black panther  
**flower boi:** god the things i'd let chadwick boseman do to me  
**Asshole:** Aren't you aro-ace?  
**flower boi:** chadwick is my exception

**truth speaker changed flower boi’s nickname to  chadwicksexual**

**chadwicksexual:** yes  
**gazebabe:** i'm going as captain america i can still fit costumes from the kids section  
**hopefully not heterosexual:** awwwwwww cuuuuuute  
**gazebabe:** BEEP BEEP BILL YOURE STARTING TO SOUND LIKE RICHIE  
**Asshole:** Eddie, wasn't it you that told Richie that “Beep beep, Bill” couldn't be a thing?  
**gazebabe:** …  
**gazebabe:** fuck the shut up  
**hopefully not heterosexual:** i'm going as hawkeye but like,, comic hawkeye where he's deaf bc Mood.  
**hopefully not heterosexual:** bev’s in detention but she's going as black widow and georgies gnna be winter soldier  
**hopefully not heterosexual:** i'm wrapping his prosthetic in tin foil as we speak  
**illiterate:** ummmm WHY the FUCK did nobody tell me there was a theme i'm going as a fucking whoopee cushion what the fuck  
**hopefully not heterosexual:** HDHAKDJWODJSHSOA GEORGIES GNNA PISS  
**illiterate:** rot  
**hopefully not heterosexual:** [img_243.jpg]  
**illiterate:** MINE SON FUCK HES SUCH A BOMB ASS BUCKY BARNES I LOVE ONE (1) WINTER SOLDER  
**queen:** WHATS A SEBASTIAN STAN IDK HER I ONLY KNOW GEORGIE  
**chadwicksexual:** THE WHOLE OF THE LOSERS CLUB IS QUAKING  
**truth speaker:** can we all adopt please. like group adopt. six polyamourous gay dads and their mom.  
**queen:** ben honey 1) you're not gay and b) how am i your guys’s mom and georgies adoptive mom  
**truth speaker:** life works in mysterious ways  
**truth speaker:** also i could be a lil bit bi lol  
**Asshole:** I’m very happy for you for coming out, Ben, but my mom just threatened to ban me from trick or treating if my phone buzzes again so this chat is cancelled until this evening.

**the losers’ club™  
** **21:19**

**hopefully not heterosexual added illiterate to the conversation.  
** **hopefully not heterosexual added truth speaker to the conversation.  
** **hopefully not heterosexual added chadwicksexual to the conversation.**  

**hopefully not heterosexual:** thanks for today guys, it was really fun. georgie had a great time.  
**Asshole:** Are you alright? You seemed off tonight.  
**hopefully not heterosexual:** if anyone wants the photos from this evening message me, i don't wanna clog the chat up  
**Asshole:** That's not answering my question.  
**hopefully not heterosexual:** I'm okay, dw abt it  
**Asshole:** Certain?  
**hopefully not heterosexual:** denbroughs don't lie

**the losers’ club™  
** **05:06**  

**hopefully not heterosexual:** i lied  
**hopefully not heterosexual:** i'm so sorry

**hopefully not heterosexual has left the conversation.**


	4. dank memes and broken dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Asshole:** G-d I hope he’s alright. I have this really uneasy feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah okay this is like twice as long as any other chapter of this fic boiiii

**the losers’ club™  
** **07:33**

 

**Asshole:** SHIT  
**Asshole:** FUCK FUCK FUCK

 

**Asshole >>> hopefully not heterosexual   
** **07:34**

 

**Asshole:** Billy are you alright?  
**Asshole:** Babe, please answer me.   
**Asshole:** I’m so so sorry I wasn't awake please text me back.   
**Asshole:** Sweetheart PLEASE I’m not kidding I’m so worried.   
**Asshole:** I need you to answer me baby I’m scared for you, we all are.   
**Asshole:** If you don't answer right now I’m coming over.   
**Asshole:** I'm coming over. 

 

**the losers’ club™  
** **07:39**

 

**illiterate:** FUCK stan can you reach him??  
**Asshole:** Nope, I’m really worried. I’m going over to his house as soon as I’m dressed.   
**truth speaker:** do u want us to come?  
**Asshole:** You guys go to school, I’ll text updates but if all 6 of us don't show up the administration will think we're truanting.   
**Asshole:** Grab my homework from Simons, Grant, and Crabbe please?  
**queen:** i will stanley dw, let him know we're thinking of him  
**queen:** if anything serious has gone down call one of us, rich and i are no strangers to jumping the fence at lunch  
**Asshole:** Hopefully that won't be necessary. If it is, I’ll call, but only after school ends. I don't want any of you getting in trouble.   
**gazebabe:** we won't get in trouble !!  
**chadwicksexual:** richie is one absence away from being suspended he is BANNED from skipping  
**chadwicksexual:** call me first if you need anything, i’m not needed on the farm today and i just got paid so I could get a taxi straight to his door.   
**Asshole:** Thanks Mike, do you mind if I text you a running commentary? If I don't do something with my hands I think I’ll freak out  
**chadwicksexual:** that's totally fine bro, whatever makes it easiest for you to cope

 

**Asshole >>> chadwicksexual  
** **07:55**

 

**Asshole:** Biking over there now.   
**Asshole:** I think I can see Georgie walking to school? The bright yellow raincoat is pretty distinctive.   
**chadwicksexual:** probs him, ask if he's seen bill this morning?  
**Asshole:** Give me a couple of minutes. 

 

**the losers’ club™  
** **08:00**

 

**chadwicksexual:** aight he's speaking to georgie now so in a few minutes we'll h o p e f u l l y get the all clear  
**gazebabe:** god i hope it's a false alarm  
**gazebabe:** last time this happened was 48 hours of sheer fuckimg terror  
**queen:** don't worry eddie, last time he was 100 miles away. he's down the street this time and stan’ll be with him in ten minutes. it won't be like before.   
**illiterate:** it better fuckin not be that shit was worse than the time twinkies were gnna be discontinued   
**illiterate:** and lemme tell u 10 year old richie was shook the fuck up by that  
**illiterate:** coulda sued hostess for emotional damages i was DISTRAUGHT

 

**queen >>> illiterate  
** **08:03**

 

**queen:** dude i know humour is some kinda coping mechanism for you and i totally get that but i don't think stan’s gnna wanna see the chat blow up w some bull about twinkies   
**illiterate:** fuck u mean coping mechanism i don't have shit to cope WITH im totally stable  
**illiterate:** i just naturally radiate fun  
**queen:** empathy pal  
**illiterate:** empathy isn't my strong suit  
**illiterate:** i'm way too autistic for that emotiony bullshit   
**queen:** i get that, but u gotta try   
**queen:** imagine u were havin a crisis and stan talkin abt birds like nothing was wrong   
**illiterate:** sorry mom   
**queen:** im lov u son

 

**Asshole >>> chadwicksexual  
** **08:07**

 

**Asshole:** Okay, so Georgie hasn’t heard from him this morning but said last night Bill and his mom were fighting, and Georgie had to hide under the covers to block the noise.   
**chadwicksexual:** any clue what the fight was about?   
**Asshole:** Nope, Georgie wasn’t really listening. He’s pretty sure Bill’s in the house, though, because he was supposed to walk Georgie to school and didn’t, and their mom yelled up the stairs for a while.   
**chadwicksexual:** yike   
**chadwicksexual:** how far are u from their house??   
**Asshole:** On the corner of his street. Sharon’s car is outside??   
**chadwicksexual:** nahhhh man smth aint right, she leaves at 7:45? every day? for the whole damn time ive known that family?   
**Asshole:** G-d I hope he’s alright. I have this really uneasy feeling.   
**chadwicksexual:** he’ll be okay dude, he always is. try not to sweat it too much until you know what’s happening.   
**Asshole:** I can’t help but panic Mike, especially after last time.   
**chadwicksexual:** this isn’t last time stanley, don’t let urself get hung up on before. most likely he’s just pretty down and needed some time out.   
**Asshole:** What if that’s not it? What if it is like before? G-d, what if he succeeded this time?   
**chadwicksexual:** it isnt and he hasnt, i can almost guarantee. keep walking dude, you’re almost there.   
**Asshole:** I just knocked on the door. Oh G-d I shouldn’t be this scared of my boyfriend’s house.   
**Asshole:** “She’s upstairs” fuck off Sharon he’s not a girl.   
**chadwicksexual:** boiiii i got a mom to fight   
**chadwicksexual:** i mean im a pacifist but   
**chadwicksexual:** i got a mom to fight   
**Asshole:** I’m at the top of the stairs, I called to his room but he hasn’t answered?   
**chadwicksexual:** don’t panic don’t panic don’t panic, he takes his hearing aids out when hes feeling low.   
**Asshole:** I know, I know, oh my G-d my heart is in my throat.   
**chadwicksexual:** go through his door.   
**Asshole:** Okay, okay, okay, I can do this. I’ll text you back in like ten minutes. If you don’t hear from me by half past come over, something’s probably happened.   
**chadwicksexual:** sure thing cap’n, tell bill i love him   
**Asshole:** I will do, thanks for letting me ramble.  
**chadwicksexual:** not a problem dude, gl <3

 

**the losers’ club™  
** **08:23**

 

**illiterate:** have we heard anything yet???????   
**chadwicksexual:** give stan 5 mins more   
**Asshole:** He’s okay.   
**illiterate:** STANLY   
**illiterate:** WHAT HAPPENED   
**Asshole:** He had a fight with his parents last night, his mom especially. She’s been blaming him for Georgie’s accident and she thought the Winter Soldier costume was “drawing too much attention and making a mockery of his injuries”.   
**queen:** is she,,, okay,,, georgie wanted to be bucky tf   
**Asshole:** He’s really really upset, and I think his arm might be broken? She shoved him into the door and he caught his shoulder, it’s in pretty bad shape. Eddie, can you give the Dr. K diagnosis before we decide whether to take him to the hospital?   
**truth speaker:** naaaaaahhh nah nah nah he’s not staying there, how fucking dare she   
**truth speaker:** i’m sorry no that is unacceptable   
**truth speaker:** he can stay at mine for a few days i’m not letting him stay with a bitch who’ll break his fuckin arm   
**Asshole:** [img_011.jpg]   
**illiterate:** GROSS   
**gazebabe:** im pretty sure that’s broken, get him to the doctors. Even if its not broken its pretty fucked get it looked at.   
**gazebabe:** also i second ben’s statement i have a spare bedroom with his name on it   
**queen:** same here, my aunt always has a room for yall   
**queen:** she calls it the richie room   
**illiterate:** yeah nah i was gnna offer my house but L M A O i aint gnna be the snake to drag him into an even worse house 

 

**Asshole added hopefully not heterosexual to the conversation.** ****  
**Asshole changed hopefully not heterosexual’s nickname to Delicate Man Boy Dude.** **  
** **Delicate Man Boy Dude changed Asshole’s nickname to ridiculous.**

 

**ridiculous:** Gender affirmation is key, Bill.   
**Delicate Man Boy Dude:** i love you u dickhead.   
**Delicate Man Boy Dude:** im sorry for freaking you guys out, i can’t handle shit rn. I’m in a really bad place and i took it out on you guys and i feel shitty about it   
**queen:** don’t feel bad, you were processing. that presents itself in weird ways.   
**Delicate Man Boy Dude:** we’re goin 2 the hospital and my phones n like 8% so im not gnna be able to keep u guys updated on whether im broken but ily all sm and thanks for caring bc i dont deserve it   
**ridiculous:** You deserve every bit of it and more, you’re so important and so valued and what you don’t deserve is all the shit that gets put on you. Your parents use you as a scapegoat and that ISN’T OKAY. Georgie’s accident was not your fault, your being trans does not lessen your value as their kid, and you have a right to feel happy and safe and supported. We’re definitely not more than you deserve, if anything you deserve more than we can offer.   
**queen:** ur sat next to him   
**queen:** but well said   
**queen:** also im sorry but im so uncomfy w this rn

 

**queen changed Delicate Man Boy Dude’s nickname to delicate man boy dude.** ****  
**queen changed ridiculous’s nickname to Ridiculous.  
** **queen changed their nickname to mother marlboro.**


	5. like a hamster on crack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Ridiculous:** bones: reset  
>  **Ridiculous:** painmedicstion: aquired   
> **Ridiculous:** minivan: almot reversed in a bush   
> **Ridiculous:** we are forcibly removed from derry general hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long to post lol i had a lot going on n then i forgot
> 
> enjoy

**the losers club™  
** **14:09**

 

 **Ridiculous:** We’re finished at the hospital. His arm is broken in three places, he has a sling and a plaster cast. Also, some really strong painkillers.

 

 **mother marlboro >>> Ridiculous  
** **14:10**

 

 **mother marlboro:** stanny boi  
**mother marlboro:** not to be That Guy™  
**mother marlboro:** but please tell me you have hold of the pills  
**Ridiculous:** Absolutely. I wouldn't dream of letting him keep them himself. I love that boy too much to risk losing him.  
**mother marlboro:** <3

 

 **the losers club™  
** **14:14**

 

 **illiterate:** SICK im glad billyboy is good  
**illiterate:** just so yall kno bevs aunt is coming to get u from the hospital and then she's picking us up from school so we can have a movie night  
**Ridiculous:** Does Bev’s aunt know this?  
**illiterate:** buddy me and carla have a good thing goin, called her at lunch and she was practically begging me to come over x  
**mother marlboro:** don't listen to a word the slut says, i asked her this morning and she said it was fine. stan she's gonna text u  
**Ridiculous:** To let you all know in advance, Billy is practically passed out on my shoulder. He's tired and upset so can we /please/ be a toned down version of ourselves tonight?  
**truth speaker:** don't sweat it stan, we'll be good  
**gazebabe:** Rich will be gagged  
**illiterate:** who knew eds was kinky ;)  
**gazebabe:** SHUT THE FUCK UP  
**illiterate:** come on spagetty u know u love it  
**gazebabe:** THAT'S NOT EVEN HOW YOU SPELL SPAGHETTI YOU INFURIATING BUFFOON  
**illiterate:** wow ableist much :///

 

 **illiterate changed gazebabe’s nickname to ableist spaghetti man.  
** **illiterate changed their nickname to victim.**

 

 **mother marlboro:** richie u disgust me  
**victim:** ah, so you've discussed me? i'm a trust fund baby u can trust me  
**chadwicksexual:** SEE I BEEN READING COMMON SENSE BY THOMAS PAYNE  
**chadwicksexual:** SO MEN SAY THAT I'M INTENSE OR I'M INSANE  
**chadwicksexual:** U WANT A REVOLUTION? I WANT A REVELATION! SO LISTEN TO MY DECLARATION  
**truth speaker:** WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF EVIDENT THAT ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL AND EHEN I MEET THOMAS JEFFERSON UH IMMA COMPEL HIM TO INCLUDE WOMEN IN THE SEQUEL  
**mother marlboro:** WORK  
**ableist spaghetti man:** WOOORK  
**chadwicksexual:** W O R K  
**victim:** WERK  
**Ridiculous:** Work. Beverly, your aunt’s car is the blue minivan, right?   
**mother marlboro:** ye, u see her?   
**Ridiculous:** I think so.

 

 **Carla Marsh >>> Ridiculous** **  
** **14:22**

 

 **Carla Marsh:** hi sweetie, i can see u 2 xxxxx   
**Carla Marsh:** come to the van xxxxx   
**Ridiculous:** Thank you Ms. Marsh, just a second.   
**Ridiculous:** :)   
**Carla Marsh:** please sweetie, call me carla xxxxxxx   


  


**the losers club™**   
**14:31**

 

 **Ridiculous:** bones: reset  
**Ridiculous:** painmedicstion: aquired **  
** **Ridiculous:** minivan: almot reversed in a bush **  
** **Ridiculous:** we are forcibly removed from derry general hospital **  
** **Ridiculous:** hi its bill im on amlot of mesicatiom **  
** **Ridiculous:** i love you guyd **  
** **Ridiculous:** also cant type bcbthe keybords fuxzy and im love carka   
**truth speaker:** stanley collect ur mans   
**Ridiculous:** im stan and stans mans yfhfhghj   
**Ridiculous:** STAN THE MAN :o :o :o   
**ableist spaghetti man:** is he actually okay   
**truth speaker:** stan blink twice if u need help   
**Ridiculous:** He’s all good, I have my phone back now. We’ll be with you guys at 3. <3

 

 **the losers club™  
** **14:58**

 

 **victim:** i see the holy spirit approach, bathed in golden light and riding in a baby blue chariot   
**ableist spaghetti man:** boi are u tryna say carla’s here   
**victim:** …   
**victim:** maybe   
**Ridiculous:** That’s exactly what he’s saying. Come outside, losers.   
**chadwicksexual:** yall mind hurrying ur asses up? i’m outside bev’s house freezing my dick off   
**victim:** [mydickfelloff.mp4]   
**ableist spaghetti man:** richie why do you have that audio on hand so fast   
**victim:** i am a vine conniser, i have all vines on hand always   
**ableist spaghetti man:** connoisseur*   
**victim:** [steptheFUCKupkyle.jpg]   
**ableist spaghetti man:** [LINK: YouTube: if u wanna fight me then fight me]   
**victim:** omg is this edward spaghedward flirting   
**ableist spaghetti man:** MY NAME IS EDWIN YOU INFURIATING PIECE OF SHIT

 

**victim changed ableist spaghetti man’s nickname to edwin spaghedwin.**

 

 **edwin spaghedwin:** BITCH OH MY GOD STOP   
**chadwicksexual:** eddie when there’s too much drama at school   
**chadwicksexual:** all u gotta do is   
**chadwicksexual:** walk awaAYAYAYAYAYAYYYY   
**Ridiculous:** Preferably to Carla’s car, you’re the only one that’s not here yet, save Mike.   
**edwin spaghedwin:** wait tf even richie beat me???????????????   
**Ridiculous:** He was the first one here. Hopped into our arms like a hamster on crack.   
**victim:** i resent that   
**victim:** hamsters need to be kept apart from other hamsters bc they’re not social creatures and they kill each other if there’s more than one in a cage   
**victim:** where as i need constant attention and love or i’ll kill myself   
**victim:** like a gerbil   
**Ridiculous:** Like a gerbil on crack, then.   
**mother marlboro:** eddie please hurry up, believe it or not it’s worse in person   
**edwin spaghedwin:** boi hoW   
**truth speaker:** H U R R Y   
**edwin spaghedwin:** okay shut up i can see the van   
**edwin spaghedwin:** drive towards me before my lungs collapse

 

 **the losers club™** **  
** **16:47**

 

 **mother marlboro:** stan n bill babies   
**mother marlboro:** stop making out in the richie room or we’re starting the film without yall   
**mother marlboro:** amd it’s gnna b sixteen candles   
**delicate man boy dude:** what nO that’s john hughes’s worst work waht the fumck   
**delicate man boy dude:** and ?? the racism ?? bev babe how the fuck what the fuck why the fuck why would u watch that by choice   
**victim:** bev the dvd doesnt have subs xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo   
**delicate man boy dude:** thank fuck for the world failing to cater to deaf bitches like me xo   
**truth speaker:** u aint deaf   
**delicate man boy dude:** im hoh and cant watch shit iwthout subtitles so its close tf enough   
**Ridiculous:** We’ll be down in just a second, could we watch Kings of Summer? I’m in the mood for some Nick Robinson.   
**chadwicksexual:** aye aye, i’m all in for some rick nobinson   
**edwin spaghedwin:** ooooooooooo nicky boy   
**mother marlboro:** eh not my type  
**truth speaker:** u like girls and me   
**mother marlboro:** is nick robinson a girl or u?   
**truth speaker:** … no   
**mother marlboro:** i rest my damn case

 

 **Mother >>> delicate man boy dude** **  
** **18:44**

 

 **Mother:** would you care to explain why your seven year old brother made his own way home from school and had to look after himself in an empty house for three hours?   
**Mother:** that’s ridiculously irresponsible, emily.   
**Mother:** he could have been kidnapped, or hurt, or worse.   
**Mother:** you are GROUNDED for the next month young lady   
**delicate man boy dude:** Hi, Mrs. Denbrough, it’s Stanley. BILL wasn’t able to collect Georgie today because HE was in hospital at pickup time. HIS arm is broken, and we’ve agreed that HE won’t be staying home until we know HE will be safe from further injury under your care. Please stay away from BILL. :)   
**Mother:** listen here you bitchy little madam, stay the fuck out of my business with my daughter and tell her to come home this fucking minute

 

**You are no longer able to message this user.**

 

 **Ridiculous >>> Mom** **  
** **20:06**

 

 **Ridiculous:** Hey mom, I’m staying at Beverly’s this evening. Bill was hurt at home and I had to take him to the hospital, we don’t want t send him back to his parents. I’ll be in school on time tomorrow and home after, I just don’t want to leave him alone.   
**Mom:** Totally fine sweetie, send Billy my love. Tell him he always has a place in our home x   
**Ridiculous:** Thanks mom, I love you.   
**Mom:** No problem, kiddo. I love you son x   
**Mom:** Bring Billy with you tomorrow, have him stay over. I’ll get the spare room set up.

 

 **the losers club™** **  
** **23:38**

  
**Ridiculous:** Goodnight, guys.   
**chadwicksexual:** u at bev’s still?   
**edwin spaghedwin:** course he is, gaylords   
**victim:** yeah he’s def still there, hes never this polite so late at night unless hes cuddling his boo   
**Ridiculous:** Shut the FUCK up Richard.   
**Ridiculous:** But yes, I’m still in the Richie Room. And doesn’t he look gorgeous?   
**Ridiculous:** [mybaby.jpg]   
**mother marlboro:** I AM SCREAMING

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls comment i thrive of validation n its the only thing that motivates me


End file.
